i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
