who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
