She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am mentally ready for anal.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
