the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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