Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
