The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
