yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
