we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
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Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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