She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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