not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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