I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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