I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
