Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
