im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize