The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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