How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
