is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
