Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
