Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
