whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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