i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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