Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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