It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
