I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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