you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
