You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am naked and annoyed.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
