You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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