having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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