MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know her cup size but not her name....
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