He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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