We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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