I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
