Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
