he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she told me i tasted like america
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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