This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
