there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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