I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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