It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
