We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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