im having a threesome with these popsicles
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
