I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
