sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
