I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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