that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
