There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
