tell your sister to shave her snatch
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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