so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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