The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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