You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Congratulations! We have a period
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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