what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
