as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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