Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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