Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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