Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
