He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Welp...herpes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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