I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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