would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
