How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
