I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
