so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
