We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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