It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
