I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize