Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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