I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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